CREATIVITY DIARIES: How I focus when my mind is chaotic

Focus Pocus. A nonsense phrase I can often be heard muttering under my breath when I’m at my desk struggling to concentrate, a way of tricking my mind into stillness and concentration like a witch putting a spell on an overactive mind. Sometimes I wake up with so many things I want to do/make/write/create/film/organise that I don’t know where to start and I can easily fritter away a day jumping willy nilly from one project to the next, getting to the end of the day feeling like nothing was achieved. And while achieving and being productive isn’t everything, when I’m in one of those moods where I want to create, focus is essential. I want to share a few strategies I’ve learned over the years that work for me on days when I feel inspired and energised but my mind is swamped.

I spoke a little bit in my introduction video about my recent challenges with a sort of creative stagnation or more accurately a feeling of not knowing what’s next creatively in my life, but equally challenging is the ability to even focus. If I could focus long enough maybe I’d figure out what’s next! I spoke a little about this on Instagram and received a few concerned messages saying perhaps I have ADHD - we can rule that one out for sure, but read on for the real source of my recent challenges with concentration.

With the clarity offered by hindsight I can now say that in 2019 I entered peri-menopause. A period in a woman’s life that I didn’t really know existed - why wasn’t I warned we might suffer physical and psychological changes for up to ten years before actual menopause? I thought it was just mood swings and hot flushes/flashes in your mid to late fifties (both of which are bad enough). But there is so much more.

It took a couple more years to realise what was going on and I now have things much more under control, thanks mainly to the generosity and honesty of other women and not from the out-of-date healthcare system that still wants to offer women a pat on the back and a “cheer up luv, it’ll pass” or a prescription of anti-depressants. A year ago I wrote a very honest piece about my experience on my old Life Unstyled blog if you want a bit more insight, particularly if you’re in a similar place and are feeling confused.

Despite feeling dramatic improvements to my mental state since being prescribed HRT (hormone replacement therapy) one of the lingering symptoms has been a difficulty concentrating, sometimes referred to as brain fog. As a creative who makes her living from designing and writing and always has a lot of ideas and plans, this can be frustrating. As I sit at my desk to begin a project - perhaps researching materials for my new bathroom renovation or finding a location for an upcoming shoot - I often have to tell myself out loud to focus (focus pocus!), like I’m a child sitting at the back of the classroom, misbehaving and getting distracted. Even now as I write this, my mind is jumping around and the urge to procrastinate is kicking in, even though I want to write this and I enjoy the process. It’s a strange thing to witness, particularly as it hadn’t been such an issue for me until a few years ago.

First you have to become aware there is an issue - it’s not all in your head. I mean it is all in your head but not in the “you’re delusional” sense of the phrase! Then see what small changes you can make to improve your focus. I can’t offer you any medical advice - Dr Emily I am not - although if you think you may be having peri-menopausal symptoms definitely don’t suffer in silence. But I can share some anecdotal evidence of what works for me. There are three things I do almost daily or at least when I’m working at home and not on a shoot.

REMOVE DISTRACTIONS

My kids are grown and not living at home so I already have a quieter house than before, and I appreciate that you may have a more full and hectic home life, but if there is a way to steal a few moments of quiet then it will pay off. I’ve noticed lately that when I’m trying to write, draw, design a shoot or do some research I can’t have any sound. I used to have the radio or a podcast or music on at home almost all the time, and I still do if I’m cooking or doing housework (my boyfriend doesn’t read this but if he did he might dispute the fact that I do any housework…). I could never tolerate music when I was writing, especially writing my books, and that is still the case, but I did often sit in busy cafes and libraries to write chapters. Now I need silence when I’m drawing or painting - for pleasure or for work - or researching a shoot and always for writing. My brain can no longer handle the over stimulation. It’s important to notice the way your needs may have changed and make adjustments.

The phone also has to be silenced and left in another room if I expect to get any serious work done. There is a magnetic pull towards the device that seems to grow stronger when I’m trying to focus. Grabbing the phone and flipping through apps is way too easy a distraction and form of procrastination. Leaving it out of sight can be a winning strategy - how many times can you say that your phone is actually out of sight? I’m guessing not many. But for me it works.

WRITE

My tried and tested way to focus my mind - ideally at the beginning of the day - is to write. Pen to paper. And not just because I’m a writer, this works for anyone. For me, it’s helpful in dealing with all the thoughts I wake up with and sometimes feel overwhelmed by. It’s not about writing anything worth reading, it doesn’t have to be grammatically correct or even legible - my handwriting can sometimes look like hieroglyphics especially when the words are streaming out at speed. The magic lies in the act of writing, regardless of what the words say.

I try to start the day with a couple of pages of mindless stream of consciousness scribbling to clear it all out. Before I look at my phone and check emails or the news and definitely before I scroll on social media (this is a big no no for me first thing - don’t start your day looking at other people’s lives, focus on your own). Sneak away to a quiet spot if at all possible or keep a notebook by the bed. This is taken directly from Julia Cameron’s influential book The Artist’s Way and The Morning Pages as she calls them is a practise I’ve been doing on and off for almost 25 years (although I can’t claim to do it every single day).

Julia said is best:

All that angry, whiny, petty stuff that you write down in the morning stands between you and your creativity. Worrying about the job, the laundry, the funny knock in the car, the weird look in your lover’s eye - this stuff eddies through our subconscious and muddies our days. Get it on the page. The morning pages are the primary tool of creative recovery.

Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way.

Taking it a step further I sometimes keep my day to day notebook next to me as I write my morning pages because things pop up that I want to add to the day’s to-do list and I can jot them down on the side. However, I’d say start with just the morning pages without the added burden of creating a to do list.

My partner now knows that if my office door is shut in the morning, I’m likely hunched over a notebook scribbling furiously away, so PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB. On an ideal day I’ll scribble nonsense for 20 minutes and then go for a walk or run for peak mental well-being. Which leads me to my last point.

MOVE YOUR BODY

Sometimes the simplest most banal advice is the best and making sure you are active is one of those. I’m trying to get myself back in the gym to lift weights because pre-pandemic I loved it so much and I was in the best physical shape of my life. But this isn’t about your physical health (although that will inevitably improve as well). This is all about your state of mind. And all I’m talking about is walking. No routines or classes or equipment to buy except trainers.

During lockdowns in 2020 and 2021 I started walking my London neighbourhood, taking a different route every time and every day I felt a rush of creativity and positivity, so much so that I made sure to have my phone so I could make notes of all the BRILLIANT IDEAS I had when walking :) Going back even further to when my kids were little I remember being absolutely fried and teary and at my wits’ end with the constant lack of personal brain and physical space that is parenting. But when I could manage to steal away for even an hour on my own, walking around the LA neighbourhood I lived in, I felt revived and maybe 75% less likely to lose my shit when my daughter asked for “…one more story, pleeeease”.

I live by the sea now so I have the privilege of being able to walk near the beach and breathe clean salty air but I’ve done the same in every city I’ve lived in whether it was busy, calm, chaotic, boring, dirty, clean. Walking with purpose (no strolling please) releases endorphins no matter where you live and endorphins are like happy juice for the mind. If you find walking boring now is the time for a podcast or music or if like me, you’re going through an odd period of feeling over stimulated, then silence is golden as well.

As our lives change so do our emotional needs and for me it’s been so important to acknowledge the changes, get help where necessary and also do the work myself. Pay attention to the changes you notice yourself developing as you go through different stages in your life and try to honour them. There are many other strategies I use to nurture my creativity and to get in the zone - from recharging after a lot of socialising to meditation (I’m rubbish at stilling my mind but I keep trying!) to tidying and rearranging as a way of creating a calm environment, as well as other books I’ve found helpful, but we’ll save those for another post.

Are there any ideas you can share in the comments that have helped you get in the zone?