"I'm just an interiors writer"

And other ways I've made myself small

It’s been a few years since I made a conscious decision to change the way I speak/write about myself.

And while I’m not 100% cured of the self-deprecating language favoured by many Brits, I’ve come a long way. I lived in America for almost 20 years where I absorbed some of that American confidence, their really wonderful ability to project self-belief, something that makes many Brits cringe, but is actually necessary for growth, whether personal or in business. But after settling back into British life, I slipped back into the habit of putting myself down.

But then two or three years ago, I realised it was working against me and I needed to stop. I actually had achieved quite a lot (see what I did there) and speaking about myself in a negative way was harmful to my reputation as an artist (a word it’s taken me years to feel comfortable calling myself) and designer.

The opposite of self-deprecation doesn’t have to be bragging

I didn’t have to suddenly start harping on about all my achievements but I did have to stop playing down my experience, knowledge and skills. It’s hard to find the right language - I didn’t want to do the humble brag thing either but I had to stop making myself small.

Writing more regularly on here has been the final push I’ve needed to reacquaint myself with the writer side of my multi-hyphenated career after a couple of years without publishing a book. And by writer I mean the “not just an interiors writer” writer.

Oh, I’m just an interiors writer. It’s not like I write novels.

This is how I used to speak about myself when asked what I do. I almost felt a bit silly, like who am I to call myself a writer. They’re “just interiors books” and people do like to remind me that they just look at the pictures anyway. As you can imagine, music to my ears after agonising over every one of the many thousands of words I’ve written for each of my five books.

There are two parts to this.

One is this. Writing is writing no matter what the subject matter.

Some topics need more research or more imagination, more experience or more knowledge. But the act of writing still involves putting what’s in your head onto the page for people to read, in a style that is (hopefully) engaging and enjoyable.

So yes, I used to ‘only’ write about homes and the people who live in them. But to me they are still stories and histories and since I aim for a more soulful approach to writing about the home, I like to think the end result was more interesting than your average interiors bible filled with facts about colour theory, pattern and layout. Not that those types of interiors books don’t have their place because they absolutely do and I refer to them myself when designing a project. But I’ve never been that type of interiors writer.

The second things is, I’m actually not just an interiors writer. In fact, part of the reason I’ve had a blog/newsletter for almost 15 years - predating my first interiors book being published - is because I like to write. And the sole reason I moved my writing to this platform is that I wanted to be able to write about anything I want.

I’m not a fiction writer and I doubt I ever will be, but I do love a deep dive into lots of other subjects from creativity to heartbreak to failure to motherhood to fashion. But I still find myself worrying about putting things out there that aren’t ‘TOP FIVE INTERIORS HACKS’ or whatever is expected of a so called interiors expert.

To give you an idea, here are a few from my running list of newsletter article ideas in the Notes app:

Addicted to fresh starts (I think I am)

Reasons I don’t miss Instagram

Know your audience. How I changed the way I present myself on social media (similar to this post)

The pros and cons of doing things half-assed (I really want to write this one)

Creativity and our incessant need to monetize it

As well as a bunch of interiors related pieces like:

How I published five interiors books in ten years

Why I’m comforted by imperfect interiors.

When you’re known for being part of one particular industry, in my case interiors, it can be challenging to transition to another.

People know me for my connection to interiors - styling, set design, books, courses and so on - so are they going to want to read my opinions or thoughts on anything else? Says the negative self-talker in my head.

But one of my most read pieces for my old blog was about my early entry to peri-menopause (also read here if you too are struggling with this) and many of my most popular posts on Instagram have been the ones where I write from the heart about matters personal to me. So I suppose the proof is in the pudding, but the self doubt remains for now.

Being part of this community on Substack has been really wonderful and a reminder that it’s ok to change lanes. Reading pieces by actors or fashion ‘influencers’ who, it turns out, also like to write is exactly what I needed to remember that no-one is putting restrictions on me except me.