''I’d fallen into the comparison trap. Compared to an extremely confident and social person, I felt positively meek. It turns out I’m not and I never was. And over the last six months I’ve been going out of my way to reconnect with old friends and more distant family members and to form or develop further my newer friendships.'' There must be something in the air! This resonated with me so much. I also realized that I was denying myself that aspect of my personality because I thought I was awkward etc when in reality it makes me so happy to be around others! Lovely post.
I think it’s difficult to see how much we’ve changed or been re-shaped by a relationship until we’re out of it. And the labels we put on ourselves compared to another person! I’m glad you’re rediscovering the real you.
I value your honesty. Your words are so easy to read and I think I get something out of every post. Great encouragement to reconnect with others and prioritise that.
Love this! So nice to lean into those moments of happiness. Your weekend with friends sounds like bliss, all the things middle aged women love indeed ❤️
I've realised too not so long ago that comparison is your worst ennemy (and I've also realised that when you compare something, you do so having the same "base". But it's not possible as we are human beings and so all different: education, culture, environment...).
I've received a note (from a tea order online) saying: "Become who you are" and I like it very much (it's on my fridge so that I don't forget). We can follow people that we admire, have mentors... But in the end, staying true to yourself and listen to your "true" self (rather that wanting absolutely fit in something that is not made for you), is the best present you can do to yourself (and to the others) ❤️ It took me 35 years to realise it ! Can't wait to grow old and see what life can teach me even more !
I think that’s wonderful that you’ve figured this out at the (young) age of 35. Now you have your whole life to really lean into YOU, rather than trying to be like everyone else 😊 Thank you for reading.
Sounds like a wonderful weekend with your friends, new and old! I’m recently single for the first time in my adult life, and after what seems like a lifetime with someone. The connection feels like a loss and I am also trying to reframe it as a (positive) choice. Love your reminder about putting your attention into something and watching it grow. I need to do that with my friendships and connections too. Thanks for some very timely inspiration!
I’m sorry you’re still in that place of feeling the end of your relationship as a loss. I’ve definitely felt that myself. Last year I wrote a lot on here, particularly at the beginning of 2024, expressing similar feelings and searching for ways through. It’s great you’re trying to reframe it in a positive light. It takes time which can be frustrating, but speaking from the other side, there is a lot of joy waiting for you. So keep going and keep planting those seeds.
''I’d fallen into the comparison trap. Compared to an extremely confident and social person, I felt positively meek. It turns out I’m not and I never was. And over the last six months I’ve been going out of my way to reconnect with old friends and more distant family members and to form or develop further my newer friendships.'' There must be something in the air! This resonated with me so much. I also realized that I was denying myself that aspect of my personality because I thought I was awkward etc when in reality it makes me so happy to be around others! Lovely post.
I think it’s difficult to see how much we’ve changed or been re-shaped by a relationship until we’re out of it. And the labels we put on ourselves compared to another person! I’m glad you’re rediscovering the real you.
Great life-affirming post. I shall attempt similar snack-styling, which looks very grown-up (the dog will have to stand in for the cat).
I’m a firm believer in elevating your snack situation for small wins 🥂
I so enjoy your posts! And your beautiful home!!!
Thank you Malory! That’s so lovely to hear.
Every word of you could be mine. What a pleasure to read and share the same, little, subtle, free joys and feelings. In a french way :) but still.
I bet your small joyful French ways (and snacks) are fabulous!
I am so glad you’re leaning towards your happy …♥️
Thank you! Me too
I value your honesty. Your words are so easy to read and I think I get something out of every post. Great encouragement to reconnect with others and prioritise that.
That’s so kind of you to say. Thank you
Love this! So nice to lean into those moments of happiness. Your weekend with friends sounds like bliss, all the things middle aged women love indeed ❤️
It’s really important isn’t it? I think I’m only just figuring it out after years of career only focus
Always a pleasure to read you :)
I've realised too not so long ago that comparison is your worst ennemy (and I've also realised that when you compare something, you do so having the same "base". But it's not possible as we are human beings and so all different: education, culture, environment...).
I've received a note (from a tea order online) saying: "Become who you are" and I like it very much (it's on my fridge so that I don't forget). We can follow people that we admire, have mentors... But in the end, staying true to yourself and listen to your "true" self (rather that wanting absolutely fit in something that is not made for you), is the best present you can do to yourself (and to the others) ❤️ It took me 35 years to realise it ! Can't wait to grow old and see what life can teach me even more !
I think that’s wonderful that you’ve figured this out at the (young) age of 35. Now you have your whole life to really lean into YOU, rather than trying to be like everyone else 😊 Thank you for reading.
Sounds like a wonderful weekend with your friends, new and old! I’m recently single for the first time in my adult life, and after what seems like a lifetime with someone. The connection feels like a loss and I am also trying to reframe it as a (positive) choice. Love your reminder about putting your attention into something and watching it grow. I need to do that with my friendships and connections too. Thanks for some very timely inspiration!
I’m sorry you’re still in that place of feeling the end of your relationship as a loss. I’ve definitely felt that myself. Last year I wrote a lot on here, particularly at the beginning of 2024, expressing similar feelings and searching for ways through. It’s great you’re trying to reframe it in a positive light. It takes time which can be frustrating, but speaking from the other side, there is a lot of joy waiting for you. So keep going and keep planting those seeds.
Lovely writing esp power of reconnection x
Thank you